|Posted by Mark Cantrell on December 27, 2012 at 11:40 AM|
The Pestilent Script
By Mark Cantrell
CREATIVE writing is the expression of a parasitic organism call Inspiracoccus Scriptorius Infectis. It multiplies within the brain, invading nerve cells, and then uses the neural weave to nurture the larval creature into fully-fledged maturity.
Some writers have guessed at the nature of this affliction; Orwell for instance referred to writing a novel as like some bout of a vile and debilitating disease. To date there is no cure. There is no inoculation, as no-one has yet discovered the bacterium, virus or basic particle that provides the infectious mechanism of this disease.
Invisible the organism may be, yet we can acknowledge its existence through the effects it has upon the victims. Typical symptoms include staring eyes, the persistent presence of notepads and pens, calluses and ink stains, and compulsive use of word processors. Frequently, the afflicted are compelled to come together and so cross-fertilise their infection.
For sure, some people have a natural immunity, but again as yet science has no means of understanding why the parasite cannot lodge in the immune person's brain.
There is a notion that some talent and imagination is required to be a creative writer. There is some truth in this, but as with many things in life this is far from the absolute. Though the infection takes root the deepest in the minds of scribes and imaginative individuals, it can also infect others.
Even the illiterate can fall foul of this disease. Depending upon their cultural environment, they can either become oral storytellers, thus spreading the contagion through the air, or they may become the average tap room bull shitter. In the latter case, the effect is the same -- the contagion spreads through the air, but also through the faecal mechanism of verbal diarrhoea.
Nobody is safe from this disease. Though it takes root in the brains of what are commonly called scribes, where the larval idea form is nurtured into full-fledged maturity, the adult form must itself breed. It does this through he medium of the reader, and its gametic form is transmitted as further ideas. These infect writers through the general cultural material they ingest.
Contained with this memetic pool of inspiration are the spores of the next generation of idea. And thus the parasite breeds.
The writer suffers only the most extreme form of this disease, for which thus far there is no known cure. So writers must beware, it is most likely that they are infected and merely replicate within their minds the seeds of one of the most virulent diseases known to man: inspiration.
Bradford, 16 June 2002
Copyright (c) June 2002. All Rights Reserved.